Abstract: Whilst previous research into mothering on social media has focused on representations of intensive mothering ideology, this paper argues that social media are fundamentally changing mothering discourses for some users. The paper explores ‘good’ mothering in digital communities by considering: the legitimised expression of ambivalent emotions in digital mothering communities; the shifting relationship between private and public, with implications for new forms of maternal intimacy; the forms of surveillance engaged in, and resisted, online; and the opportunities for women to play with alternative identities. Through analysis of posts on the British mothering internet forum ‘Mumsnet’, the paper suggests the concept of virtual mothering to encapsulate the emerging ways in which mothering is performed through online spaces. Four aspects of virtual mothering discourse are explored – perfection, privacy, politics and play.